Tuesday, September 29, 2009

ربي اني أسكنت من ذريتي بواد غير ذي زرع

This Ramadan was a strange period for me, intense and yet very solitary. I had really tried, and in my opinion failed again, to try to immerse myself in all that it means to fast this beautiful month. However now that it is over and Eid has ended, I find that it has left another mark upon me. Just another fraction of a degree redirects my life on different paths, with an outlook that makes different decisions when faced with choices. I tolerate corruption and falsehood much less than previously, but I frequently choose my words more carefully and am much more stoic in the face of ignorance.

Ultimately though, it is the final acceptance and leaving behind of those who are dear with us which has been the biggest change. The title of this post was presented to my mind almost as an inspiration in the most difficult and darkest of times during these past nine months. I hated its fatalism at first and raged against that steel wall which is the irreversibility of permanence and its cruel finality. But with fasting, fatigue, contemplation and thought, the sadness which is human existence seems to somehow appear in perspective. Acceptance paves the way for a calm and peace, but these are still far...

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