"Foreign and Commonwealth Office sources confirmed, however, that the transfer from US custody a few days ago of Qais al-Khazali, a cleric and commander of AAH, helped to pave the way for Mr Moore’s release. They also admitted that British diplomats had been pressing the US to hand over al-Khazali to the Iraqi administration."

The last piece of the puzzle has now fallen in place. Notice how the media is now emphasising the hand of Iran behind the kidnappings, as if it is something new that nobody would have thought of or heard about before. We will see a much more concerted media campaign against the Islamic republic over the coming months as Obama's administration begins to step up the pressure. Up until 2008 we had seen a concerted focus going from Palestine, Lebanon, Syria and Iraq. This has now been shifted eastwards. Iran, Afghanistan and Pakistan are now the new fields of conflict between these two very different world views. The idea is that with Iran tied down, Israel may have a freer hand in dealing with Hezbullah and Hamas. On the opposing side, Iran has managed a nice distraction for the Saudi's in Yemen, but the Red Sea and the Horn of Africa are still contested, though traditionally they have been the Mossad's playground.

I think Iran's next move will be to stamp down on the protests - hard - when the time is right. They will continue to dangle the carrots of nuclear inspections whilst in Afghanistan we will probably hear of many more coalition deaths by roadside bombings and attacks. As for Iraq, that is finished, it is effectively in Iran's camp. This will stretch their sphere of influence from Lebanon through to the borders with Afghanistan and with a cozier relationship with Turkey. The Kurds might be encouraged by Israel and the United States to start causing more problems to disrupt this all, the Kurd's have the most to lose as they were the most ardent supporters of the invasion of Iraq. All this time, Iran's nuclear development will continue.

Will there be a war against Iran in 2010? If Iran does win this next round with the West then I think all gloves will come off.

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Sheikh Imam - Ana Toub 3an Hobak ana

Goodbye 2009, the year of sorrows...I know it means nothing as tomorrow will just be another day, but we need that break, that psychological line to be drawn between the past and the future. Still, without the past we have no future. I feel that I have changed in this year, mellowed, become more forgiving and more tolerant of people's faults. When we become furious, we are furious withourselves, we do not forgive, because we cannot forgive ourselves. But we can push past ego, there is no other choice - apart from insanity and despair. I hope everybody finds what they are looking for in 2010, but remember, if you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got. A good friend of mine told me this and I like it, so on that note, I wish all my readers a happy new year.

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Wahhabi Christians...

I really don't like religious quackery, whether Muslim or Christian or otherwise. To my amazement, I had an argument with somebody yesterday about a youtube clip they had received allegedly showing the Virgin Mary appear in a church in Egypt. I do not have the link. When I told them I don't believe this rubbish, they questioned aloud how I can pray five times a day and not believe in the Virgin Mary 'even as a Muslim'. I told them I don't believe the video, that it is was ridiculous, and that there are Muslim equivalents such as the freaky light shows at Sayideh Zeinab which are just as stupid. She laughed that off saying "You Muslims don't have saints and you don't have Jesus, of course that wasn't real". I told her that both her clips and the Muslim ones were rubbish. She called me a kaffir...then she said Jesus is God.

Oh dear...

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My soul alternates between utter depravity and pious spirituality. Hypocritical? No, just another day in the life of a human being...but I am constantly reminded that there are good things to live for, and good people in the world...

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The body of Dalal Moughrabi (age 20) being stripped by Ehud Barak in 1978.

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Islam and Zen philosophy - some thoughts

Yesterday I decided to take the plunge and buy my first Bonsai, a Chinese Zelkova [pictured to the left]. At first glance this might seem incredibly boring, but there is something deeply philosophical about the whole experience. Firstly it is not something you stick in a corner and forget about, it is a miniature tree that is living, breathing and growing. Bonsai is a culture rooted in Zen philosophy and a key tenet in Zen has been the harmonious and unobtrusive existence of the human being with nature. Trees are symbols of an immense power and wisdom. From tiny seeds sprout the greatest living creatures. They provide shelter, shade and fruit for living creatures. We use them to provide us warmth. Their roots give them a firm foundation whilst also protecting smaller trees from being swept away. In essence they are the symbol of the rock solid, of the reliable. They exude stability.

Like the tree, we have our roots in the earth but we try to reach out to the heavens. As the Qur'an says:

ألم تر كيف ضرب الله مثلا كلمة طيبة كشجرة طيبة أصلها ثابت وفرعها في السماء تؤتي أكلها كل حين بإذن ربها ويضرب الله الأمثال للناس لعلهم يتذكرون

Do you not see how Allah sets an example? - A good word like a good tree, whose root is firmly fixed, and its branches (reach) to the heavens-- It brings forth its fruit at times, by the leave of its god. So Allah sets forth examples for people, in order that they may remember.

In this case, the "good" word is truth, whatever it is. It is based on firm foundations, and with it you can grasp what you could never have imagined possible. As Jesus said, the "Truth shall set you free". When we look at it from the perspective of Greek philosophy, we see how premises for any syllogism must be prior, better known and completely solid before a conclusion can be deduced. If this principle is followed soundly then the conclusion can only be truth, according to Aristotle.

Yet we choose to live our lives on premises that are anchored to floating buoys. We don't think about the basis of our beliefs or traditions, instead we blindly imitate. One person says a good and just god would not allow suffering in this world, because she heard this argument on television and she thought it sounded like a sound argument. Another man tells us that as long as he is not hurting anybody he can do whatever he wants, then goes off and drinks, smokes or does drugs - in moderation of course. No thought is ever given as to why they say or do what they do, it is all about how emotionally convincing the argument can be and whether it is enough to satisfy the ignorant.

That is not enough for me, it is not enough to leave an argument unfinished because I cannot be bothered to complete it, or because I have reached a stage of reasoning which is convenient for me or which I find appealing. The human being is constantly seeking not just to reach to the heavens, but to find their roots. As Ibn Arabi reminds us from the Prophet's hadith, we must know ourselves before we know Allah, and to do that we need to know what truth is. A tree is as good a place as any to start looking.

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I've finally, after over a year, begun reading the Road From Damascus. My thoughts on that to follow.

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Never stopped feeling serene...

There is a saying back home, "Mountain and mountain will not meet, but human being and human being will meet". It has been almost a year, and there is so much I would have liked to tell you. Allah forgive us all...

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The Green "revolution" in Iran - We should not support this.

This nonsense on the news about a Green "revolution" has sparked the imaginations and indignation of the youth there and across the world. U2 dedicated a concert to them, the Western news is full of concerned pieces about the movement and the latest "martyrs", and Neda Sultan's face is now familiar throughout the world. But to join the mob in baying for an overthrow of the Iranian government and to cave in to what the demonstrators want - which isn't really coherent, would be disastrous not just for Iran, but for the region. I am the last person in the world qualified to speak about Iran or to tell it's people how they should govern themselves, but prominence Iran plays in the region, its status as an Islamic republic, and my own personal anti-imperialist position means that I must at least voice an opinion on what is happening.

The demonstrations that are being regularly held in Tehran are beneficial politically only to the West. There are many young Iranians who are rightfully frustrated with a lack of jobs, economic opportunities and the corruption and heavy handedness of the thuggish Basij, but they do not know politics. As a result they are easily manipulated. There are other young Iranians who are frustrated with not having the same kind of freedoms that their Western counterparts have. They want to drink in the open, have Western style relationships in the open, and dress in mini-skirts or bikinis. I constantly see Shah-era Iranians and their offspring here in London and they are beyond pathetic with their obsession with fashion, drinking and black men. And those other demonstrators remind me of these silly hedonists. They are also the loudest and most arrogant when it comes to any discussion of politics, and generally the most clueless.

I don't have a lot of time for a long post but in short, you can draw a direct political line from the so-called Cedar "revolution" of Lebanon in 2005 to the Green "revolution" of Iran. I would like those who think these misguided people will succeed to take a close look at Lebanon and see what has happened to those Cedar revolutionaries 5 years later and then make a judgement.

Some of the mullah's might be corrupt, some of the police might be corrupt, but Iran is not an American puppy. It has done more in actuality in the battle against America's poodle Israel than sixty years of Arab "struggle" to liberate Palestine. It has tied America down in Iraq and in Afghanistan. It is governed under the laws of Islam and not under some political ideal evolved in Western Europe. We are Muslims first, not Europeans. We should stop being infatuated by the West's ideologies and way of life. It has only enslaved us and destroyed our souls. I leave you with some quotes from the Iranian writer Jalal Al-e Ahmad:

I say that gharbzadegi is like cholera [or] frostbite. But no.It's at least as bad as sawflies in the wheat fields. Have you ever seen how they infest wheat? From within. There's a healthy skin in places, but it's only a skin, just like the shell of a cicada on a tree.

Also, inspired by Al-e Ahmad, Khomeini wrote:

The poisonous culture of imperialism [is] penetrating to the depths of towns and villages throughout the Muslim world, displacing the culture of the Qur'an, recruiting our youth en masse to the service of foreigners and imperialists ...

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"Two Stages of the Syrian Ba'ath" by the erudite Qunfuz.

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ان مع العسر يسر

A beautiful surprise whilst I was taking a walk near my home the other day. It reminded me again that after all hardship there must come ease.

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syrian special force eating snake scorpion الجيش السوري القوات الخاصة

This is the typical kind of macho bullsh*t that hasn't won the Syrian Army any wars since 1946.

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Fairouz - Ya Baya3 Al Khawatim

A beautiful song from Fairouz. Enjoy.

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الإسلاميون- انتقام المفكر

Excellent programme on al Jazeera last week. Enjoy.

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Egypt back on centre stage?

The steel wall Egypt is erecting on its border with Gaza has given Egypt a whiff of the former importance it once held in the Arab world. Seen as a puppet of the United States, Egypt has, since the signing of the peace deal, moved when the United States has ordered it to, spoken when the United States has ordered it to, and remained silent when ordered to do so. As a result, the role of Egypt has been usurped by countries such as Syria and even Saudi Arabia. But the erection of the steel wall has given Mubarak's regime a leverage that it has long been missing. Iran might be a little concerned about the wall, and Larijani's visit to Cairo last Sunday may be taken as a sign of this worry. Khaled Mishaal in turn has also gone to Tehran, most likely to discuss how Hamas is to deal with Fatah and Egypt during the upcoming negotiations that we will be hearing of.

Where to from here? Iran will allow Egypt a "prominent" role in the Hamas-Fatah negotations, as a broker. A little bone is thrown to Mubarak before he dies and Egypt repays some of the political debt that it has accumulated.

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Rifai Sayyadi Zikr in Bosnia

To lose ourselves in the love of Allah...we can shed the pain, tiredness and sorrow away like old garments. Beautiful and mesmerising clip, I hope you like it.

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أهل التصوف و الجهاد

There is a common misconception that Sufi's are the docile, "good", Muslims that the West can use to consolidate their exploitation of the Islamic world. Or that Sufi's are pre-modern hippies or that they have no interest in politics. This, I am discovering slowly, is in fact not true. The video clip has been sent to me by F, (thank you) along with many helpful resources. I thought I would translate some of the names that appear and the school that they belonged to (the list is in the correct order), in fact I hear there is even a group in the Iraqi resistance called the Naqshabandi resistance movement that carry out operations against the Americans. Sufi Muslim's have been at the forefront of fighting against empire and occupation throughout our history:

Yousef bin Tafsheen Sunni-Maliki Sufi
Aleb Arslan Ash'arite Sufi
The Seljuk state was an Ash'arite Sufi state
Nour el Din Zenki Ash'ari Shaf'i Sufi
Salah al Din Ayoubi Ash'ari Shaf'i Sufi
Muthafar Quturz Ash'arite Sufi
al Zaher Bibars Ash'arite Sufi
Sultan Bayzij "the Thunderstorm" Maturidi Hanafi Sufi
Sultan Muhammad al Fateh Maturidi Hanafi Sufi
Sultan Suleiman the Lawgiver Maturidi Hanafi Sufi
Sultan Selim II Maturidi Hanafi Sufi
Sultan Abd el Hamid II Maturidi Hanafi Sufi
Kheir al Din Barbarossa Maturidi Sufi
The Ottoman Empire was a Maturidi Sufi empire
Imam Shamil Daghestani Maturidi Hanafi Naqshabandi Sufi
Hassan al Banna Ash'arite Sufi
Sheikh Izzidine al Qassam Ash'arite Shaf'i Sufi
Abd al Qadir al Jaza'iri Ash'arite Malki Sufi
Muhammad bin Abd al Karim al Khitabi Ash'arite Malki Sufi
Omar al Mukhtar Ash'arite Malki Sufi

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Merry Christmas

There is an opinion amongst some Muslims that we should not congratulate non-Muslims on their festivals and celebrations. It can be a convincing argument, but I don't agree with it. It is (albeit inaccurately) the celebration of the birth of Jesus, regardless of what different people make him out to be, and that is no wrong thing when I also celebrate the birthday of Muhammad. There is also the idea that since it is celebrated on the 25th of December that it is rooted in pagan festivals. The Ummayad Mosque was once a church and also used to be a Roman temple to their god Jupiter, does that mean we should not pray there? Why should a date in the year be treated differently from the site of an ancient pagan temple? The, mostly Wahhabi, argument does not hold in my opinion. So I would like to wish all my readers a merry Christmas albeit a few days early.

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Somebody once said to me, "It's so hard to find the truth". I disagreed and said, "No, it is harder to follow it".

How hard it is to pick up that telephone, to apologise, to get laughed at. But the pain is not a betrayal because we followed the truth, as I had felt at the time, it is there to cleanse us of pride. We are afraid of the pain from following through and doing what is right, or following what feels right with every fibre of our being. I have decided not to be afraid of humiliation, embarrassment or insult. I just hope I have the strength to listen to that little voice of reason which I have ignored so often out of anger. I've also decided my door will always be open, and the past will never be a barrier to that openness. Those who wish to walk back through it will always be welcome...

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There are as many paths to reach Allah as there are people in the world.

Allah is not just the god of good people, He is the god of criminals as well. He is the heaviest dude when it comes to kindness...

I just watched the Iranian film Marmoulak. The two quotes above are from that film and made a tremendous impact on me. The story is of a man, a petty criminal, who manages to escape from prison disguised as a Mullah. Whilst in hiding he finds himself having to deal with the problems of ordinary people and his heart softens gradually. I like films like this; one scene, where the cynical and hardened woman who is forging his passport repents, brought tears to my eyes. A coarse, rough woman used to dealing with the dredges of society, and she feels the regret of her actions course up through her chest and frantically she burns down all her forgeries. Something about that made me choke up. How many of us wish we could wash everything away? I would scrub like a madman if I knew it would do any good.

We all deserve a second chance in life and yes, maybe even third, fourth and fifth chances..

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Went for a long walk in the beautiful Scottish countryside today. I enjoyed the haunting beauty and the total silence as we walked along the Loch. Every year I reflect where I was the year before and wonder about where I will be the next year. Life is strange, but people who think they can erase their memories are stranger in my opinion. There is a place within me for everybody I have ever met, and I never forget... Perhaps I should stop trying.

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Will be braving the weather and going to Scotland tomorrow. Taking Mary Renault's "The Praise Singer" for the long train ride.

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I find it incredibly amusing whenever the news carries stories of how the Afghan army will be trained up to carry on the 'job'. The Afghan's beat the British, the Russians and the Americans. Do you really think that they need some 'tofficer' from Sandhurst to 'teach' them how to fight. Silly...

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Hayy Ibn Yaqzan: The Unseen Footage (Part 1)

This is quite amusing. For those who don't know, Hayy ibn Yaqzan was the character in a famous 'novel' written by Ibn Tufail in Andalusia. Don't ask me how I found this..just enjoy it.

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I can see the snow flakes falling outside. Beautiful.

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If you say the truth enough times, it becomes a joke

When stupid people get radical you get...the demonstrators in Copenhagen. It never ceases to amaze me how short people's memories are. Shortly before the invasion of Iraq in 2003 many people from around the world, particularly the flaccid Western public, marched in unprecedented numbers against the decisions of their political leaders. Almost immediately after that, a string of 'safe' political outlets were erected one after the other to diffuse this anger. First we had Darfur, a tribal conflict that had been going on for years, reach the headlines. Even Google had a little cute flame icon to show Darfur on the map. Then we had Tibet, and the rebels without a clue stampeded to get enough rubber arm bands. Now we have Copenhagen, and yes, it did start to become more 'visible' in the news and media just after the occupation of Iraq was starting to sour. What started as a trickle becomes a torrent on the public's attention. You even had a former US vice President chip in and make a well received documentary about the environment just to help get the ball rolling.

At a time when the American empire under its new black president prepares to send 30,000 soldiers to Afghanistan, and Gaza is being fenced in by an indestructible steel wall across its entire border with Egypt, I'm supposed to give a sh*t about Chan Chan the panda not having enough sex or poor penguins not having enough icebergs to swim from but I should forget how many Ramadans it has been that the people of Gaza have been under seige, or that Iraqi Arabs have now been transformed into the gypsies of the Middle East, universally mistrusted, mistreated and miserable.

Of course the conspiracy theorist theorists will disagree. I mean just look how relevant the burning issues of Darfur and Tibet are today. I bet some people even have the rubber bracelets somewhere in a drawer. In other news that you retards wouldn't have noticed:

Iran has just test fired its new advanced missile.

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Most of us are just waking zombies, suffering from loneliness of the soul and we all know there is something missing in our lives.

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If you are a woman and you smoke, you can thank the American Edward Bernays for "liberating" you. He used to constantly say that people are stupid. He's right, they are. Even the clever ones.

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The division between bad dreams and waking reality has been blurred for me recently. Sometimes I forget what it is I was doing and have to remind myself, or I am not sure whether something was done or not. Maybe this is what prisoners who are chained or in solitary feel like. Reality and illusion merge; time stops meaning anything. I remember years ago, I used to like sprinting up a hill near where I used to live. At six o'clock in the morning even London managed to look beautiful in the crisp, clean air. There was a hunger in my belly for something, like I was seeking something with all my being. That hunger is still there, but I can no longer run. These chains are such horrid things.

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Researchers from Tel Aviv University and King Abdullah University (TAU and KAU) collaborate on computer 'bot' problem.

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London seems to be full of Israelis these days. My imitation of their lilt and accent is not quite passable yet, but it can get there with enough time. Funny world.

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The grapevine

Talking to Israelis is always an interesting experience. Especially when they are involved in the fields of finance and do business with Arab clients in several Arab states. Today I had a nice insight into some of the workings of Rif'at al Asad's 'business' network, of course mostly funded by drug money and with a considerable share in the Astra satellite network. This particular Israeli I was talking to had met Rifaat's son in Gibraltar, where they both had 'shared' business interests. I am not sure if this is the same son I remember seeing in Syria. This son had come with his father for a brief period before the death of Hafez Assad, just before he was unceremoniously packed off into exile again. He had bought with him two of those mini-motorcycles that are still quite popular and he used to race with the local general's thug son throughout the hara at night. Apparently they fell out, shortly after that we heard nothing from him again as he had gone abroad again. Ref'aat's building is now a bank in Shaalan, near the Jahez park on Abu Roumaneh. Back in the day, that corner was dominated by the massive wall surrounding his building, which was always empty and dark. There is also a cafe opposite where the former Indonesian embassy used to be. The Israeli told me he was optimistic that Bashar al Assad could bring about a "change of policy" for the better in Syria. That if we were clever like the Egyptians we can now be making a lot of money. It always amazes me the things I learn when people feel comfortable enough around me.

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Last night Channel 5 were running the film Raid on Entebbe. I have never seen as much blatant propanda on British television but also I was happy to see how truly dated the ideology behind the film was. This idea of a civilized West, a democratic Israel and the delusion that somehow they were principled or moral has now well and truly been buried. Europe is becoming increasingly fascist and right-wing, Israel is as it has always been, a colonial implant that is occupying Arab Palestinian land. The Israeli soldiers in the film were all 'good', standup guys, people you'd like to have as neighbours or friends. Yonatan Netanyahu was presented as a square jaw, solid guy, dedicated to his work. Interesting as well was how many Hollywood actors were involved with the film, especially Charles Bronson. When I was six I had a poster of him from Death Wish holding a massive gun and blasting away the bad guys. I guess it says something about my generation, taught from a young age that people like him are 'good' when in fact, they are supporters of the Israel.

Still, it was interesting to see how the IDF and the politicians in Israel deliberate and operate. One of my fascinations during my undergrad degree was the machinations of Israeli politics and I remember going through a phase where I was very interested in the Likkud party, I think I even wrote a paper on them. Israel has its fingers in many pies, but especially in Africa. It will be fascinating to go through the security archives of the former Israeli state one day. Very fascinating...

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The new Lebanese Prime Minister Saad Hariri | رئيس وزراء لبنان سعد الحريري

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This particular passage always came to mind when I saw people who just didn't have the same standards...and the same passage comes to mind when I read of people wanting to go to Copenhagen for this ridiculous summit.

For this reason, when Florus was deliberating whether he should go down to Nero's spectacles and also perform in them himself, Agrippinus said to him, "Go down": and when Florus asked Agrippinus, "Why do not you go down?" Agrippinus replied, "Because I do not even deliberate about the matter." For he who has once brought himself to deliberate about such matters, and to calculate the value of external things, comes very near to those who have forgotten their own character. For why do you ask me the question, whether death is preferable or life? I say "life." "Pain or pleasure?" I say "pleasure." But if I do not take a part in the tragic acting, I shall have my head struck off. Go then and take a part, but I will not. "Why?" Because you consider yourself to be only one thread of those which are in the tunic. Well then it was fitting for you to take care how you should be like the rest of men, just as the thread has no design to be anything superior to the other threads. But I wish to be purple, that small part which is bright, and makes all the rest appear graceful and beautiful. Why then do you tell me to make myself like the many? and if I do, how shall I still be purple?

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An excellent interview given by Joseph Massad:

What do you think of the gay organisations being formed directly in Arab countries, such as Helem in the Lebanon)?

Helem is an organization founded by a tiny minority of individuals who want to assimilate into the Western gay movement. They are often provided by Gay Internationalists as a local example of gayness. Aside from the influence and active participation of non-Lebanese in the founding of the organization, Helem represents only its own members and can only speak for them. According to Helem spokesman Sharbil Mayda’, the organization only has 40 members, only 30 of whom identify as homosexual in a country of four million people, in a region of 300 million Arabs. It is hardly a major development as far as changes in sexual conceptions of identity.

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Inspiration from the most unlikely places

Today I memorised the plea made by the Prophet's grandson on the day he died in Karbalah. I haven't the energy to translate it in a way that would convey the beauty of it. Earlier this evening I had decided to go to bed early, tired from yet another whirlwind week of studying the law, preparing for tutorials and generally running around like a headless chicken. This routine suits me fine. Working, studying, praying, reading, eating and then collapsing exhausted every night. I don't want to feel or remember anything of this last year. I just pray asking for the injuries to heal. No sooner had I almost faded into sleep when a jolt of memory, and that strange displacement and feeling of emptiness that has stalked me this past year, woke me up with a startle. It was only when I remembered something that happened to me earlier today that I gradually felt more relaxed and calm.

Today I was talking to a new friend of mine, whom I met on this course, a lovely woman with a beautiful soul. She is also the first "real" African-American I have ever met, in the way that Spike-Lee is an African-American (does that make sense?!?). She is highly educated, proud and wilfull. To my utter shock I also discovered she was a Muslim and that was on the first day of this past Eid, when I spotted her wearing a headscarf and coming back from the Mosque. This would be the first of two things we had in common, the other being an intense admiration of Malcolm X.

Anyway, today I told her for the first time about how difficult this year had been for me, and about how challenging it has been to overcome sorrow and loss. Yet whilst I said this to her, I was surprised to see how understanding and empathetic she was to my difficulties. You see she has some form of cancer called Luppus, which I had never heard of before, and it had almost killed her. My problems seemed nothing in comparison with what she must have gone through, and is still going through... Yet here, in front of me, was a human being who was determined to live their life to the maximum, to study and work hard, and still stay smiling and optimistic. They also still had enough humanity in them to listen to my problems and take them seriously, in spite of what they themselves have suffered. It gave me hope, for the second time, exactly when I needed it. I ask that Allah has written for her to be cured.

Just when everything felt like a little bit too much, Allah sends me reminders that life is worth living, and that there are many adventures to be had in a wide world inhabited by people of many different tribes and creeds. We all have our days that are like Karbalah, where we raise our hands to the sky, overcome with grief and sorrow. But with every hardship there must come ease. Allah has promised us this. Today I was reminded of that fact again.

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On the Tariqa...

"Truth does not change. People change. People try to possess truth and keep it for themselves, keep it from others. But you cannot own the truth."

I love the Qur'an, I don't think any blog posts can come close to expressing this aspect of my character. I carry it with me, I think about particular verses that stick to my head. They berate me when I stray, and that is often, and they give me strength when I resolve on something. The Qur'an has also given me solace in times of sorrow. Somehow, the right verse always seemed to come up when I needed it.

My own personal copy of the Qur'an is in a brown covering that can be zipped up, it fits into the palm of your hand, yet it is clear enough to be read comfortably. This Qur'an was given to me by my late grandfather, rest his soul, about a week before I left Syria permanently and I was to ignore it for many years before opening it up again. As a bookmark, my grandfather had taken a page from the popular calendars used in Syria, we call it a Ruznama, the ones that have the date in Hejri, Gregorian and the Hebrew calendars, along with the prayer times for the day. On the back, there is one simple line: Allah said to some of his prophets, "if you seek me you have found me", the date on the page is Saturday, Ramadan the 4th, 1404, or the 2nd of June, 1984. So much has happened since then, and my grandfather has been dead for almost ten years. At the time he passed away I had just come back from clubbing on the Spanish island of Ibiza, which speaks much of the kind of life I had chosen for myself and the company around me. I say this not to boast, but in reflection.

When I became more interested in seeking, I came across many false starts. For one thing, I quickly began to learn that tradition and imitating from my parents or family were not enough, and in fact that was completely disastrous. I looked for different teachers, people whom I could learn from and ask questions. This method was more hit and miss. I did not want to surrender my mind to anybody, but I could not defeat the hard logic that you were presented with if you accepted and chose to 'believe' as they wanted you to. I became sterner with those around me, and sterner in my views. But that too did not hold too well when my own human frailty reminded me that my actions were simpy mirrors of those that I criticised around me at times. I thought to myself, should I stay silent or point the finger and be a hypocrite?

Since the beginning of this year, I began to frequent mosques more frequently, looking, learning, trying to understand. I saw good things and bad things. Thankfully I felt able to discern and take out exactly what I needed. Most importantly, I learnt early this year how to read and pronounce the Qur'an properly. I am not melodic, but my ability to read the signs inserted in the text about when to pause and when to continue dramatically improved my readings, and comprehension. It was simple, not difficult like we are brought up to believe, needing 'expert' guidance. All it took was for me to pick it up and read..Now I read it all times, exploring its pages, randomly selecting bits to read and ponder over. I pick apart phrases that interest or puzzle me and then see how they can fit with my understanding of the world, of biology, of physics and chemistry, of philosophy, and finally, of politics. I find no boundaries to it, and no threat. It does not chain me, instead it releases me from shackles.

Many people reading this blog will have noticed my increasing religiosity, some with perhaps a sense of alarm. But I am not a Wahhabi, I do not walk around with a short gown and grow a large beard in disarray. I am not against that, as I understand the importance of it, and beauty of it. But I do not approve of their austerity or fanaticism. No, I feel I am being guided, perhaps even pulled, down a path that I had looked at with disdain for a long time. Sufism was a dirty word for me, and there are many pitfalls for those who seek their way through its fields. But there is something profound about it, about reading the Qur'an and pushing out of your heart all that is not Allah. My iPod is now almost exclusively composed of the Qur'an and also Sufi Hadra's and chants. I do not like the silly nasheeds that some people put on their mobile phones. There is something guttural, even primeval, yet also clean and soothing, about listening to these Sufi chants.

As this leaning becomes more pronounced I begin to wonder, is my heart, like my music player, slowly pushing out what is unimportant for the sake of this true beauty? I walk furtively along the edges of this new ocean, its waters washing around my ankles as the tide pulls in and out. I begin to wade in, and I find the water is beautiful.

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EFSUN - Pleine Rune - Hasan Haffar

Enjoy...by the amazing Sheikh Hassan Haffar.

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'Extremists' are stopping Iraqi's from having a 'good' time

This is what the Western press lament the loss of in Baghdad. The declining "nightlife" of the old Baghdad. They even manage to transform something disgusting, into a good thing:

In 2007, when American troops handed control of Abu Nuwas to Iraqi forces, they tried to rekindle the area's freewheeling past by offering grants.

How kind of the occupying forces, how benevolent! This is like the French pushing Algerian women into prostitution, sending them over as 'comfort' battalians for French soldiers in Vietnam, or the pleasure hotels opened for American soldiers after their occupation of Japan.

Aakh...I guess saying this will brand me an extremist because I think alcohol and prostitution are a bad thing. Certainly bad for the poor people forced into this business. The hearts of some men are cold and hard, like stone or even harder than stone. Yet even stones crumble and let water burst from them. So what does that make these people?

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Explosion in Syria...some comments

This is the second time an explosion happens close to the Sayideh Zeinab area. The first time, I had just driven past the very junction it exploded in by about five minutes. We heard a muffled explosion, but didn't think anything of it till we turned on the television back home. Back then the explosion happened in front of an office for the security services. No information has ever been made as to who was responsible. This second bomb so far seems to have similar characteristics. It is nearer to the Shia areas of Damascus.

If it is the Iraqi's who have done this in response to the massive car bombings that took place recently in Baghdad, why only in Zayideh Zeinab and not in central Damascus?

If it is a Sunni extremist group, there has been no claims made. In addition, it is probably safe to say that the most dangerous thing you can be these days in Damascus is a Sunni extremist.

The Jordanians aren't that brave to try something so direct with Syria.

The fact that it is in a Shia area, that it has happened in Damascus, it really points to an ally of Israel and the United States. Saudi perhaps? The Saudi's are not very happy with what is happening in Yemen. But I don't think the Saudi's have enough initiative to do something like this on their own.

The United States seems to be ready to make a new push in its colonial conquests. What with 30,000 soldiers heading for Afghanistan next year, but why Syria? It is unlikely. They seem much keener to leave the Middle East and focus on Afghanistan and Pakistan.

Then again, Sayideh Zeinab could be where important liaisons take place between Hezbullah, the Iraqi Shia and the Iranians? The Israelis have been carrying out a number of attacks against Damascus over the past few years. We can laugh about how the "Zionist entity" is blamed for everything there but, if not them, then who? I missed the entirety of Nasrallah's speech and don't know if there are clues there, but it is no mistake that Israel has been hitting Hezbullah and Iranian operatives hard, and vice versa, in a cold war of sorts that has stretched throughout the world.

We will not hear much more which is useful about this explosion, at least that much is guaranteed.

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Dreaming of Hassan Nasrallah?

Another of my dreams. Last night I dreamt I was at a university cafeteria. I was talking to somebody about how disappointed I was not to have met Hassan Nasrallah. They told me he was actually sitting there in the cafeteria right now. I turned around and there he was, sitting having a coffee. Me and a friend walked up to him, I said to him that we really respected and admired him, and for Allah to protect him and give him success. We shook hands, he seemed a nice man. As we walked away, I thought to myself how odd it was that he was not worried about Israeli assassination attempts, I thought Hezbullah are never sloppy, he must be confident that the Israeli's would not dare try anything.

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