Wednesday, August 25, 2010


Today I helped somebody sad feel a little bit happier, somebody angry feel a little bit calmer, and somebody lost to find their way. It was a very strange day. I also had several discussions with somebody and wisdom came from my lips this time. They actually shook my hand in gratitude for showing them something - gratitude! Me? I don't know anything, what could I possibly give and I'm blind myself? I ask this question and hear only a silence which is deafening, a silence which leaves me unsettled.

For two nights in a row there have been strange dreams. The meaning eludes me, if there is any meaning in the first place. In the first we are driving past the home of someone I used to know. The people I am with know something hurtful had happened there, something I blamed them for, yet they still drive past and wave to say hello. I am seething, but I choose not to say anything. One of the people in the car knows this, yet says nothing. That makes me angrier.

In the second dream, I had not seen or heard from her in almost four years. She has done something to herself, something I feel is hideous. She did not realise what she was doing, it was not her fault, but I am furious with her. I know she feels awful, but I want to make it even worse. The permanence of what she's done fuels a rage within me. A feeling of denial and refusal, tinged with sorrow.

Today the world is a cacophony of politics and religion, wise or ignorant people. All shouting, arguing, calming or provoking. Terrible and primeval. Do not come here looking for answers for you will find only madness. Ramadan Kareem.

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