Thursday, November 05, 2009

There are still good people in the world in spite of the many who are cruel beyond belief, and I am convinced that there are things which happen in ways that are no coincidence...I had been following what I thought were His signs, a mix of intuition and unusual circumstance. This led to the most horrific injury to my soul yesterday. I lay there in the dark last night, shattered and unnerved to my core. "Why?" I asked myself, "Why when it had looked like He had wanted me to go down that route, did he lead me to such pain?". I had followed Him when it had all started. Against all logic, my heart told me that what I was doing was right; that if I believed it would all work out fine. Did I just see what I had wanted to see? Was I a fool?


I asked for an end, I had had enough pain, enough sorrow. As I stumbled out of bed in the dark to pray again, enveloped by emptiness and nursing the wounds of the cruelty I had been subjected to, an act of kindness in the dead of night by a total stranger made the world that little bit more bearable. Cruelty is defeated by living, and this heart beats still.

5 comments:

أُمنيّة said...

there are no answers for all the WHY's we ask.

Keep asking and following the what u think signs sent from Him to help u , and more pain yet to come.

poshlemon said...

Kindness is like an emollient for the soul :)

Amatullah said...

Those words you left here sound so familiar...

My advice:
We've to live with those dark moments. They're healthy, helping us to see the world aroud with a new vision. Even if we don't quite see what they mean now, we're unconsciously up to face new days and situations.
"Why" is an existential question, man was/is used, and will always be used to ask it.
So, you're growing up, you're changing, you're moving on new things...

Kheer enshaLlah.

Amatullah

Maysaloon said...

Thank you all for the kind comments. Just so you know, the cruelty also came from within me. In fact the cruel person was myself, and it almost destroyed me...

Lirun said...

ur often cruel to me