Saturday, September 08, 2007

I didn't want to jinx it and say anything, but my visit to Syria is now confirmed. My flight takes off on Sunday night and it is definite that my papers are in order and I won't be shipped off to boot camp as soon as I land. I'm not sure how I feel anymore, I've been looking forward to going home for so long but the initial excitement and restlessness has given way to a strange anxiety. Syria is different, hell I'm different. I never expect things to stay the same, but I still feel that twang of jealousy, nostalgia and sadness. It is like I'm meeting a long lost lover, I know she's had other lovers and I know I'm not the same person she remembers. Will she take me back? Why didn't she wait for me? I get angry.

Really I'm angry with myself, isn't it I who turned my back on her for so long, neglected her? I wanted to forget her and I almost succeeded for a time. Did I not lose myself in the embrace of countless tarts, adorned with cheap make up and cheaper perfume? Yet here we are after almost ten years and to my surprise, she awaits me, shaming me with her acceptance of my flaws, regardless of my childish jealousy. Damascus just smiles and tells me, "Welcome home".

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13 comments:

Ibn Bint Jbeil said...

great description. will you be able to blog from there?

Wassim said...

I hear conflicting statements on blogger.com in Syria. Not to worry ;) I've setup a solution which might let me through anyway. Let's see.

Golaniya said...

welcome home :-)

Syrian in London said...

welcome back!
waiting for your views of Syria/Damascus after being away for so long.

sasa said...

How long are you staying for?

Wassim said...

Golaniya,
Sank you :)

Syrian in London, I haven't arrived there yet. I fly off tomorrow.

Sasa,
I'm there till the twentieth. Shall we meet up?

Hisham said...

Wassim; you have this rare gift of knowing how to transmit, through the words, this emotion that we all (arab expats) have towards our land of origin. I wish you a good stay in Bilad a'sham.

Wassim said...

Thank you Hesham,
One day I hope to visit al Maghrib too :)

abufares said...

I wish you a very happy homecoming. I hope you wouldn't be disappointed.

Wassim said...

Thank you Abu Fares!

The Syrian Brit said...

I do hope you have a great time..
I look forward to a blow-by-blow account of your time over there..
Take care, and have a safe journey..

The Syrian Brit said...

I do hope you have a great time..
I look forward to a blow-by-blow account of your time over there..
Take care, and have a safe journey..

qunfuz said...

towsl wa turja' bisalameh, insha'allah